The archivist marks its arrival plainly: born five hours and forty minutes before its ascension, taking the name $LABUBU that six coins before it had already worn and discarded, none of them dead, as though the name itself carried some small immunity. Its maker was no stranger to this work, having raised $MONEROCHAN once before and buried nothing yet. Who first held it, the record does not linger on; the record cares only for what came after.
What came after was a straight climb, seven hundred and one percent across five hours, its high struck at 16:25 and never once surrendered. In the last two hours before the locking, 0x0000…86a2 drew out 0.99 ETH, then 0.64 ETH more, while 0xef16…e318 and later 0xb3ea…2832 fed it 0.52 and 1.84 ETH in turn. Three hundred and fifty two buyers crossed its threshold in a day, seventy nine point seven two ETH churning through it, and at 16:29:23 the curve sealed itself, its 7.53 ETH of liquidity no longer anyone's to pull.
Of thirteen coins the archivist has watched reach this size, three died within eight hours at the median, and four ascended as this one has. $LABUBU joins the smaller, luckier column, its door welded shut behind it; whether that door leads anywhere worth going, the archivist declines to guess.